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Stiff the Fed

The Wallace Street Journal

By David Bond, Editor

Stiff the Fed

Wallace, Idaho – Ron Paul has written a book, End the Fed, well known in
these circles. We have a better idea: Stiff the Fed.

In case you missed it, the financial cable network CNBC actually
produced something informative a little while ago. It listed our 15
biggest creditors, the entities to which the captive citizens of the
United Snakes of America owes money.

Canada, which we always held as infinitely more sensible, turned up in
the Top 15 for the first time. We owe Canada $3.6 billion. Coming in at
14th is Hong Kong, at $138.9 billion. We owe the Cayman Islands’ banking
centers $146.3 billion. Twelfth is Brazil; we’re into them for $184.4
billion. We owe OPEC $210.4 billion. We owe the insurance industry
$261.8 billion. We owe domestic commercial banks and credit unions
$269.8 billion, making theirs our 9th biggest I.O.U. The Brits and our
own state and local governments are tied for 7th place at $511.8 billion
each. We owe mutual funds $637.7 billion and pension funds $706.4 billion.

Are we beginning to see a pattern here? This thing is beginning to go
logarithmic. We owe Japan $877.2 billion. China ranks a measly third:
they’ve been shedding U.S. debt like crazy, converting it to stuff we
used to do, like mineral and oil production, but they’re still just a
hair shy of a trillion, $895.6 billion to be precise.

The last two surprised us. Holders of U.S. Savings Bonds, and a category
CNBC calls “other investors” rank No. 2, at $1.458 trillion.

And the Number One I.O.U.? Drum roll, please: it is our very own United
Snakes Federal Reserve Bank, which has us on the hook for a staggering
$5.351 trillion! That’s right. We owe the Banksters in our own midst
interest-bearing debt more than five times what we owe the Chinese we’re
always sniveling about.

We owe Ben Bernanke’s crooked, miserable Jekyll Island creature 10 times
more than we owe the money-grubbers at the counting houses in London.
Noise from the cute brunette talking head at CNBC: “So no big deal, then
– we just owe it to ourselves.”

This is indeed a Pogo moment: “We have met the enemy and he is us.”
Because who, exactly, is “ourselves.” A good question, and one to which
this writer can proffer no answers. The Economist serves up some
circumlocution on the subject but basically paints the players as
victims of speculation even as its editor attends the annual Bilderberg
get-together, off the record of course.

But somebody shoved $5 trillion of debt up our stern-bearings, and
stands to reap a tidy profit on the compound interest which we must pay
to service such debt. But there is an old and worthy saying. Owe the
Bank a little, and the Bank owns you. Owe the Bank a lot, and you own
the Bank. So we’ve got some leverage here, n’est-ce pas?

Let’s go down this list. No way we stiff Canada. We share North America
and the Great Lakes with them, and we need their beer, lacrosse and the
NHL and the three-downs-only Canadian Football League. Plus, it would
just not be Polite, and Canadians are sticklers for Politeness. Settle
with them, dollar-for-dollar. We spend more on chocolate bars every year
(and Chicago election-fixing) than we owe the Mounties.

We’re not so sanguine about the Tommies. The Brits have invaded us
twice, and we think they were most likely behind that beastly Jekyll
Island swindle back in 1913 that brought forth the Federal Reserve.
Still, some of us have family back there on Old Blighty. Offer the Brits
two bits on the dollar, and invite them to invade us again if they don’t
like it.

The Caymans? Interesting question. Given that it’s probably all drug
money down there, we should tread lightly, insofar as all those
black-market drug fortunes are a direct consequence of prohibition here
in the U.S. Fifty cents on the buck, with our apologies. Considering the
taxes they’ve escaped over the years, they’ll take it. Brazil? Hmmmmm,
they’ve got more oil than Venezuela, and as we do not have the will to
develop our own petroleum and metal reserves and resources, we’d better
be very nice to Brazil if we want our cars, trucks and trains and
furnaces to run. We’ll need them. Treat them like Canada, even up.

As for the Little Old Ladies, the folks holding U.S. Savings Bonds,
better square up with them as well. It would be suicidal to stiff our
parents, because they fought in actual declared wars and are handy with

This leaves us with the Federal Reserve Bank, this mysterious beast in
our midst, to whom for no reason known to God we are paying interest.
Our interest payments to this weird ghost will in a few years’ time
consume all of our “discretionary” federal budget, and we won’t have
paid down a farthing.

Why cannot this nation, like so many millions of U.S. homeowners, simply
walk away from the mess this cabal of greedy Fed banksters created? Hand
’em back the keys, and keep our pledges to Canada, Brazil, China, Japan
and our own savers at the same time. The interest saved by stiffing the
Fed would retire our foreign debt in short order. Besides, it’s time
Timothy Geithner and Helicopter Benjamin Bernanke got real jobs – like
maybe in a Chinese coal mine.

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